It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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