I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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