your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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