i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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