garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
