don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
soo... how was my night?
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