i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
