Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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