playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
