Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
ok first of all what the fuck
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
