I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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