Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
what is it with giant penises always finding me
they're like a gay fantastic four
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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