I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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