I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
