There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
