I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
