Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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