He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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