and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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