Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
