shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize