I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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