I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
we're chasing vodka with high fives
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
