I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
