I will die if light touches me.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize