Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
