his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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