yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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