woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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