...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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