Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
