Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
