we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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