why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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