i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
