so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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