5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize