People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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