FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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