I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
