You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
