he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
