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Non-Jews are for practice
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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