I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
