girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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