There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I need to align my fucking chakras
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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