Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's never too late to be topless.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize