discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
