You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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