And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize