idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
