Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
