dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
