I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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