Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
