I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
