She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
