Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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