Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
