I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
