We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
