We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize