He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
