she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
