My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize