she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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