here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
