You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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