I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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