Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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