I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
