my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
