just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
