Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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