Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
