Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
