Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
