I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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