We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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