HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
