Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
