Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
